Silly Musings

In order to avoid it going bad on us, Dave just made an entire package of bacon. I think I made...

Mon, 08 Apr 2013 21:35:21 -0500

In order to avoid it going bad on us, Dave just made an entire package of bacon.

I think I made the right decision.

In related news, we gots about 2 months left here.

fishingboatproceeds: You can preorder signed copies of this...

Tue, 29 Jan 2013 18:18:19 -0600

You can preorder signed copies of this poster now at DFTBA Records.

The incredibly complicated, tri-continental story of this poster will be told in today’s vlogbrothers video, but basically: I wrote a book, then a 16-year-old nerdfighter from the Philippines named Nica was inspired to make artwork depicting Hazel and Augustus, and then a young nerdfighter from Norway named Ashild turned it into a poster and added the quote from TFiOS.

So basically this poster captures the strange and wonderful way that tumblr facilitates the making of strange and wonderful things. (All preorders will be signed by me, naturally, due to my signing addiction.)

Me in class.

Sun, 20 Jan 2013 16:06:18 -0600

Me in class.

notafraidofruins: #if a cat and a dog got married this is what...

Wed, 16 Jan 2013 17:42:14 -0600

notafraidofruins:

#if a cat and a dog got married this is what they would look like

soupsoup: Biden at his Bidenest (by tpmtv)

Thu, 03 Jan 2013 21:10:03 -0600

soupsoup:

Biden at his Bidenest (by tpmtv)

"You may not agree with a woman, but to criticize her appearance — as opposed to her ideas or actions..."

Thu, 03 Jan 2013 20:44:44 -0600

“You may not agree with a woman, but to criticize her appearance — as opposed to her ideas or actions — isn’t doing anyone any favors, least of all you. Insulting a woman’s looks when they have nothing to do with the issue at hand implies a lack of comprehension on your part, an inability to engage in high-level thinking. You may think she’s ugly, but everyone else thinks you’re an idiot.”

- Hillary Clinton (via ellesugars)

You tell ‘em!

(via rudums-wee)

bookwormbreakfast: notnadia: apsies: motherjones: Guys....

Thu, 03 Jan 2013 20:41:30 -0600

bookwormbreakfast:

notnadia:

apsies:

motherjones:

Guys. Guys. GUYS.

Check out this photo.

Pete Souza: “This is one of those rare instances where my presence indirectly became a part of this reaction from those pictured in the photograph. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton had just accidentally dropped all of her briefing papers onto the Oval Office rug and she, the President and Vice President all reacted in a way that indicated that surely I wouldn’t get a photo of that to embarrass her.”

This photo makes me believe in everything.

FLAWLESS.

betterbooktitles: Victor Hugo: Les Misérables Reader...

Thu, 03 Jan 2013 10:39:00 -0600

betterbooktitles:

Victor Hugo: Les Misérables

Reader Submission: Title and Redesign by Albert Santos.

yeahwriters: ryanhatesthis: Anthony Bourdain live-tweeting...

Wed, 02 Jan 2013 18:23:55 -0600

yeahwriters:

ryanhatesthis:

Anthony Bourdain live-tweeting iCarly is the greatest thing in the whole world.

Hahahshahahahaha

And so begins the “oh shit, I have to fit in a wedding dress soon” portion of...

Wed, 02 Jan 2013 18:03:51 -0600

And so begins the “oh shit, I have to fit in a wedding dress soon” portion of break.

Not as awesome as the “How many Pringles can a human consume?” portion.

imwithkanye: Henceforth and so on all operas will be forever...

Sun, 30 Dec 2012 11:50:42 -0600

imwithkanye:

Henceforth and so on all operas will be forever referred to as Oprahs.

Petition to have Joe Biden open a kissing booth to pay off the national debt

Thu, 27 Dec 2012 23:46:37 -0600

Petition to have Joe Biden open a kissing booth to pay off the national debt

savethewailes: The Gallifreycrumb Tinies finished! Book to come...

Wed, 26 Dec 2012 19:12:21 -0600

savethewailes:

The Gallifreycrumb Tinies finished!

Book to come soon?

You can see these and other Doctor Who comics that update Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays on Doctor Kawaii

http://doctorkawaii.com/

Time to catch up

Wed, 26 Dec 2012 18:27:53 -0600

I’m determined to read real books for Kim this year. We’ll see how many I get through…
Any person in the wedding industry that has any control over prices is now deemed an asshole in my book.
5/6 Christmases done. All lovely thus far.
I’ve gone multiple days without making any legit progress on school plans for semester two. It is both nice and awful at the same time.
Seriously, wedding dudes=assholes.
Obviously, things are extremely exciting in these here parts.

"If Famous Writers Had Written Twilight", by Lizzie Stark

Wed, 19 Dec 2012 23:00:10 -0600

"If Famous Writers Had Written Twilight", by Lizzie Stark:

the-library-and-step-on-it:

Herman Melville

“Call me Bella.” A tome about the length of the original series investigates Bella’s monomanical search for the vampire who stole her virginity. There’s an entire chapter devoted to describing the devastating whiteness of Edward’s skin, and several on the physiognomy of vampires, starting with their skeletal structure outward.

Virginia Woolf

The novel takes place over the course of twenty four hours, during which Bella is painting a portrait of Edward and reflecting on how her femininity circumscribes her role within 20th century society.

Cormac McCarthy

In the opening scene, Edward dashes Bella’s head against a rock and rapes her corpse. Then he and Jacob take off on an unexplained rampage through the West.

Jane Austen

Basically the same as the original, except that Bella is socially apt and incredibly witty. Her distrust of Edward is initially bourne out of a tragic misunderstanding of his character, but after a fling with Jacob during which he sexually assaults her (amusing to no one in this version) she and Edward live happily ever after.

George Saunders

Same as the original, but set in a theme park. Somehow involves gangs of robots, which distract the reader from the essential sappiness of Edward and Bella’s story.

Raymond Carver

Bella stars as the alcoholic barmaid with daddy issues that Edward, a classic abuser, exploits. When Bella’s old friend Jacob comes to visit and is shocked by her bruises, she thinks about leaving him, but instead hits the gin bottle. Hard.

Annie Proulx

Edward and Jacob defy society’s expectations up in the mountains.

Lewis Carroll

Bella takes acid and charts syllogisms.

James Joyce

Edward’s rapacious love for Bella reflects the way globalism has pillaged Ireland. It’s entirely written in Esperanto, with sections in untranslated Greek, except for Chapter 40, which is inexplicably rendered as a script page from the musical The Book of Mormon.

Dorothy Parker

Bella writes a brilliant takedown of the latest school play, dates a string of men, and repeatedly attempts suicide.

Kate Chopin

Stifled by her marriage to Edward, Bella has an affair with Jacob and then drowns herself.

Ernest Hemingway

Edward and Bella exchange terse dialogue alluding to Edward’s anatomical problem. Eventually, Bella leaves him for Jacob, a local bullfighter with a giant…sense of entitlement.

Flannery O’Connor

When Native American werewolf Jacob threatens her with death, Bella reconsiders her hardcore racism, and just for one milisecond, the audience finds her sympathetic.

Ayn Rand

Edward tells Bella that he intends to stop saving her life, unless she starts paying him in gold bullion. Hatefucking ensues, then Jacob spouts objectivist philosophy for the next 100 pages.

Tim O’Brien [Novelist Urban Waite adds this one]

It’s all about the memories these vampires have carried with them for the past couple hundred years. Just think how much that would have deepened their characters. “Bella looked into Edward’s smoldering eyes and knew all the pain he carried with him, the cross burned into the cleft of his muscular chest, 1 oz., the dash of his hair across his forehead, dangling ever-so, 5.oz, etc… etc… “

Haruki Murakami: [Added by commenter Benk]

Bella has sex with Edward, who is half a ghost. Jacob is a talking cat. Most of the prose is given over to descriptions of Bella making pasta.

Marcella Hazan: [Added by commenter Richard]

Edward prefers the center of Bella’s right calf for his new braise, Osso Bella, but has trouble finding the Sicilian sea salt essential to its proper preparation.

foxnewsofficial: i hate it when you lean on your keyboard and accidentally publish twilight

Wed, 19 Dec 2012 22:53:00 -0600

foxnewsofficial:

i hate it when you lean on your keyboard and accidentally publish twilight

“that’s the best thing a girl can be in this world, a beautiful...

Wed, 19 Dec 2012 16:11:24 -0600

“that’s the best thing a girl can be in this world, a beautiful little fool.”

Love

cracked: superpunch2: Female pilots edited out of the Star...

Wed, 12 Dec 2012 04:58:10 -0600

cracked:

superpunch2:

Female pilots edited out of the Star Wars movies.

We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again and maybe forever: George Lucas hates women.

Photo

Sun, 09 Dec 2012 22:47:28 -0600

Photo

Wed, 05 Dec 2012 22:07:27 -0600